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name: Alicia
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Friday, November 30, 2007

[This gun's for hire]

You know what peeves me? The spectacular fall of all of the favorite big stars of my youth. Why oh why must they all go crazy? I love People magazine as much as the next American girl born after World War II, but seriously? I wish I didn't have to know about how nuts my stars are. Allow me to make a tragic, tragic list.

Mel Gibson. Boo, forever.
Whitney Houston. Crackhead.
Tom Cruise. You know.
Alec Baldwin. But I love you anyway, baby!
Robert DeNiro. Who knew he was a huge jerk? Nobody messes with Terry Gross, not even you, Bobby D.
Britney Spears. Stop. Just stop - stop it, stop, stop. Now.
Brad Pitt. You ruined everything!! You were the best ever, now you top the worst list! When asked if he would do another Oceans movie he didn't say, "No, we all know the series has run its course" like he should have. He said, "It's time for us to put away childish things." Oh, really, Brad Pitt? Really? Does "childish things" include your 1,486 kids? I sure hope it does. Jackass. Your abs used to get us all through a hard day. Now it just pains me to look at them.

There is, however, some lasting grace in Hollywood. How do I love theeā€¦

Kevin Costner. Normalest. Ever. Call Whitney and tell her to stop doing crack.
George Clooney. I don't even mind the clique pictures of you in a tux with your tie slightly undone. It's still sexy!
Nicole Kidman. I didn't really like her that much in the first place, so it's not that big of a deal that I don't like her now. But I do respect that she's consistently tactful. She's got class.
Richard Gere. Friends with the Dalai Lama? Loves it.
Christina Aguilera. Wow, you're actually kind of, well, normal-ish. Who knew.

Can we please leave the tabloids to the people we didn't like in the first place? I don't mind reading about how much more Spencer sucks with each passing day. But leave the ones I think are good alone. Please?

[I got bees on my head, but don't call me a bee-head]

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