[Communication breakdown all around]
I think everyone has lost sight of what's most important. And that is this. And a nice glass of wine, but I digress.
I just wanted to share that I am officially cleared dentally, which means that, one day, my teeth might have an exciting adventure in a far-off land! While the rest of my body rots away in a trailer in west Texas, drinking what I call tequila sunrises, listening to the Texas Tornados "Little Bit is Better than Nada" and petting a three-legged dog named Shelly, it is entirely possible that my teeth will be changing the world. By that time we'll be RFIDed the hell up, so I'll be happy for them, and may even wish them well. Though I will be bitter and short-sighted about it at first, and maybe even take them on the Jerry Springer show for a paternity test.
The best part about it is, when I told my Grandpa about getting a full mouth X-ray the first words out of his mouth were, "Is that so they can identify the body?"
While it may offend your womanly sensibilities at first, I implore you to look past the crassness, and see it for what it is: pure comedic gold.
The end, new paragraph.
[You got an argument? Get a life, like my teeth did]