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[Everything's coming up Alicia!]
Ohhhhhh... glorious Internet. As you may or may not have noticed, I haven't done any posts, at all, pretty much all summer. Allow me to extend my sincerest apologies, beg your pardons, and explain. Since I have neglected blogging for so long, I will set up a little choose your own adventure for you to follow, which will be totally ridiculous and will most likely confuse both you and me. Even so, I'll carry on.
I have been gone all summer because:
A.) I have been living under a rock with only a tube to feed me liquified potato chips and, obviously, have not been able to access the Internet.
B.) I haven't had the Internet at home, and have been forced to visit the Harold Washington Library between two jobs as often as possible.
{Turn the page}
For those of you who have chosen option A., please put down the book. You're a silly person, who obviously didn't think of many aspects that choice would have led to. For example, if I'd only been eating potato chips all summer, do you think my fat, sausage-like fingers would even be able to press down the dainty keys on the average consumer keyboard? No, you didn't think about that, did you. You also didn't think about the logistics of the feeding tube - who is putting the potato chips into the liquifier so that I may be fed? Do you think anyone has that kind of time? Aside from that, if someone was going to do that all summer, why the hell would they let me out now? This isn't Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. It's the real world.
For those of you who chose B, you are probably now feeling small stabs of pity for me, imagining the stench that rises from the computer terminal area on the third floor of the downtown library, the long wait times, and the annoying guards who insist you open your bag to show the contents, but then don't even look at the contents. (What's that, some sort of bowling ball candle? Move along.) You are right to feel pity.
I haven't had that great of a summer. My roommate Jeff and I have lived in purgatory for the last month, three beds stuffed up against the wall of a studio apartment in Rogers Park while we waited for our real place to be ready. Now, however, everything rules. We have moved into our storefront off the Morse Red Line, which is appropriately named "The Manor." And I have Internet, as of today. Life? It is good. I'll waste more of our time tomorrow or the next day, probably, and make up for some lost posting, but now I have to go to work.
[I'm only nominally sorry for the absurdity of this message]
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