[We have a winner - Ding!Ding!Ding!Ding!]
A conversation in the Chicagoist listserv about a post on a once-favorite dive bar turning mainstream in Wicker Park got me to thinking about hipsters. And by thinking, I mean angrily, angrily ranting.
I'm really sorry about this, but I'm going to have to rant about everything I hate about hipsters. It's been building up for quite some time, so it's gotta come out. But I do want to preface this by saying that I was not, in fact, quantifiable as a hipster/jock/yada in high school or jr. high, and I don't know if that's why I don't feel the same way as others might. I was pretty much like I am now. I don't know why I feel like you need my bio in order to see where I'm coming from. I guess because I want it to be clear that this isn't hipster backlash because I'm insecure.
On the contrary, this is about almost 4 years hanging out with zine kids and being irritated when hipsters from that stupid anarchy cafe ruined a good time with their insecurity. It's about having very good friends in plenty of "groups" - nerds (where I spent most my time, of course), sporty girls, older people, younger people, drama and choir kids, beautiful people, ugly ones, rednecks, smarts ... I'm an equal opportunity befriender.
But, still, the growing up and living your life mad about what happened to you in high school thing totally eludes me.
So, I bring you:
Everything I Hate About Hipsters (A Rash Generalization for the Kids)
One of the most annoying things about hipsters is they preach about all this shit - accepting others, riding bikes and mopeds, not eating animals and all that ladidah, about how they haven't ever been accepted by people and they feel awkward when they're out of their element. In reality, they are actually the biggest assholes there are. I can't listen to another hipster complain about jocks in any seriousness until they step inside a place/bar/whatever they don't "belong" in. What a bullshit excuse not to make friends.
I will point out that this is not the 80s and you are not Molly Ringwald, nor or are you Duckie. Until I can take any scenester, or whatever kind of person for that matter, to whatever goth or jock or dance party or redneck bbq I want, then I will not listen to this drivel anymore.
Don't proclaim anything until you know who the hell you're talking about. I know ten times as many kind and fun "prep" or "jock" types who aren't afraid to hang out with me when I'm in my cat eye glasses than I know even one hipster that doesn't have their head so far stuck up their ass and back in 8th grade that they can even step outside of themselves for one minute. That's not a lie. I think attitude is a fucking joke.
[Whew, I feel better. Sorry about that. Well, sort of]