|
|
|
[I shouldn't have left you without a dope beat to step to]
Okay, so lately there have been nothing but things that I think are ridiculously funny going on at Jimmy John's. For some reason, though, people only laugh a little at them. Jerks. So, in an effort to give you something to read whilst I finish my zine, I will actually scare you off for life with a couple of mediocre anecdotes. Enjoy!
Scenario Uno:
{Enter back room, where Alan is listening to crazy music that sounds like new age and house music had a baby}
Me: What is this music? It's making me feel like I'm at the Planetarium.
Chris: {Long pause} That.....is the DORKIEST thing you could have said right then. No, really, I can't think of anything that would be dorkier.
Me: {hysterical laughter, because it's fucking true}
Scenario A-Deux:
{Enter back room, where I am listening to NPR}
Chris: 'Oooh...I'm NPR...All I want is for there to be no more raises in taxes and Bush to stop being so dumb....Ohh'
Me: Whatev, NPR rules
Chris: 'Ooooh...I'm NPR...All I want is there to be peace in the world and for my checks to be made of cotton candy'
I'll throw in this one for good measure because I don't want to lose you.
A TALE OF A RIDICULOUS ALICIA:
Roomie Chris: Do you know what happened to my toothpaste?
Me: {embarrassed moment} Um, I dropped it in the toilet. I would have picked it out but there was pee in the toilet.
Roomie Chris: {laughs heartily}
{few moments pause while we go to the kitchen}
Roomie Chris: Alicia, did you eat my leftover macaroni and cheese that was sitting on the counter?
Alicia: {pause} {literally runs away into her room, while Chris laughs until he cannot laugh anymore}
{moments later, I emerge from my room with my backpack on so I can go to work}
Roomie Chris: Ohhhh, that was so funny. It was literally two seconds late....YOU HAVE A BRA HANGING FROM YOUR BACKPACK {we collapse on the floor laughing}
[When on EARTH does one ever even THINK of cotton candy unless you walk by it?]
|
|
