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name: Alicia
age: 24
screenname: cryztalina, since 8th grade and going strong
email: randomlifeinprogress@hotmail.com
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Friday, July 16, 2004

[You tell me what you want and I'll tell you what you get - you get away from me]

I do not think I have ever been so lazy in my entire life. This summer has had an interesting effect on me - I have indulged every stupid impulse I've wanted to. Right now it feels really good - I call it The Summer of Hedonism. I am sure I will immediately feel bad when I'm back in the swing of things, getting carried away by do do doing just like I always do. I'll feel ashamed of myself for wasting so much time, wasting away my precious youth. I know I'll feel this for a little while, like a child who feels bad for not telling on their 15 year old sibling when they sneak out at night.

But I think I'll come to my senses. I'll realize, all too quickly I'm sure, that I'll never have a summer like this again. Oh, I'm not saying there won't be amazing, gloriously free summers - I'm not foolish enough for that kind of arrogant prophesy. But I don't think I'll ever just ----- relax like this. It's different. In the end I know it will have its place in my memory as a good thing. Like taking the time to breathe. Like walking to Montrose beach for Hippie fest and dancing. Like riding my bike on the Lakeshore Path just for fun - not because I need to get somewhere. Like sitting on the roof with a beer and friends.

The effect has been good, I'm feeling rather laidback, having successfully pounded that little voice in my head telling me I have to dododdodoodddoddo into submission until the end of August. But what's beautiful about it is, well, I'm dodododdodoing things I've never really been doing before. And its nice.

I don't have the internet right now at my house which I use as my explanation for why I haven't updated in so long. We have someone coming to fix it soon, though, and I'll be back on track. Until then, Yada Yada Yada.

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