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Tuesday, May 25, 2004

[We've got each other, sharing the laughter and love]

I just published 5 minutes ago and I still have homework to ignore, so it must be time to publish again. I want you all to visit the link to the left, where a tiny Mike Seaver will tell you how to join a cult. Here's why:

1. The flash format takes 1 million years to load and looks like my Powerpoint presentation for FOCA.
2. Calling God and Jesus "Master" is honestly hilarious.
3. There is a quiz, which is much better than my quiz.
4. Christians must be blind because the buttons for the quiz are huge, like those telephones for old people.
5. Kirk Cameron can't stay away from the camera, even for God.
6. The first question if you choose "no" begins "Everyone thinks they are a good person."
7. The first question if you choose "yes" begins "Do you know anyone who isn't saved?"
8. The people in the video are into indiginous peoples. Like Columbus was.
9. At one point Kirk points down to Hell but really is pointing at his crotch.
10. You miss Growing Pains.
11. In Kirk's column he reminds us that:
a. "God has been warning us for more that two thousand years of His coming wrath upon this sinful world. He said the attack will come from all directions and be so fast, severe, and overwhelming, that there will no be no hope of survivors" and
b. "While on trial before the 911 committee, a representative of the Bush administration said, "We had no silver bullet that could have stopped 911." As Christians, while we may not be able to stop the coming wrath of God upon this unsaved world, God has given us a silver bullet that "brings the knowledge of sin" (Rom 3:20)."

12. Child stars are FUCKED UP!!

Please click on "Kirk's column" and then "Chicken Mercies," where he chronicles his trip with his "unsaved TV family" the Seavers. I cannot do it justice, it is pure gold.

Don't forget to take my quiz, you still have things to neglect!

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