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name: Alicia
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Thursday, April 08, 2004

[I feel bad for the tulips—they think its spring]

Today I had an interesting interview with my Magazine Article Writing instructor. First of all, he said everything I've ever wanted to hear. And Lastly, I think he meant it. It did some very important things for me. Like make me realize that I need a mentor. And that I have a lot to learn. That I have a raw talent for writing, and the fact that he can see it in my stories makes me want to jump up and down screaming joyfully on rooftops.

But beyond that, for some reason it made me realize (and don't ask how because I don't know) that I think differently about trust than others do. We went through a whole thing about my assets being a double-edged sword, both a talent and a liability, because of the nature of the thing. And in a roundabout way, it made me think of trust. And that leads me to this.

Others do not open their inner thoughts to others until they get to know them, and most likely then only if they ask. As for myself, I put so much out there right away. The problem is my frustration, when people do not take my words seriously. But why the hell should they? I just told them "everything" right away, right? Why do they need to ask?

And of course this relates to my previous melancholy mood. By the way, I do feel foolish, and I do apologize X15. However, this new insight may help me to avoid episodes. I know that I need to both curtail my confessions as well as ask for the questions I'm dying to hear. I think the whole thing is healthy, frankly, and I'm glad about it.

[I'm working on being more interesting]

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