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aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAa - a - ahh.... {sigh}
LOTR.
So of course I went to see the last installment of my beloved Lord of the Rings. Twice, actually, and still more coming. So beautiful. Soooo lovely.
Anyway, I know I liked this movie because I am super picky about it. And I blubbered like a little baby all through the second half of it. But mostly because of the picky. So I'm going to talk about the picks for shits and giggles and if you haven't seen Return of the King yet 1.) Do so, and 2.) Don't read any further because I may ruin your experience. Moving on.
ALICIA'S GRIPES*:
- Frodo and Sam. People who read LOTR seem to be of three camps - people who thinks the journey couldn't have gone anywhere without Sam, people who think the same of Frodo, and people who believe it was the friendship, "fellowship" if you will, that made the journey possible. Well, it seems that the writers or Peter Jackson or whomever wants to make this movie have more plot twists decided that Sam was GOD and Frodo was a snivelling little jerk. This made me angry through the other two movies as well. In Return of the King it was so exaggerated that I couldn't help but wonder if someone hadn't read the books and just thought that they'd make Frodo a bad guy. After all, he just carried a stupid ring. In the books it takes almost to the gates of Mordor before Frodo even once snaps at Sam. And for the record, Sam and Frodo weren't friends before they departed. Sam was Frodo's gardener. Who was protective of him. In a kind of homosexual way.
-Gollum. One of my favorite characters in literature, and I will give nothing but praise for Andy Sedarkis (coming to Borders on Michigan Ave. this January, I think the 13th if you're interested). What an amazing job they did! But this isn't for praise. See the heading above. It made me so mad when they invented, COMPLETELY OUT OF NOWHERE, this whole nonsense with Gollum trying to frame Sam about eating all the Elven bread and Frodo kicking him out and telling him to go home (Go home?!?) and then Sam coming in to save him later after Frodo throws Gollum off what appears to be a very deep chasm a'la Mariana Trench. This whole set of events is some BOOOOOOOOOLLLSHEET! I do not approve. Nowhere in the book does this happen. Nowhere in the book does it even suggest that this MIGHT happen. Gollum was evil enough to begin with, he had no reason to want Sam to have to go home. In fact, he was delighted with the fact that "the fat hobbit" would be killed by Shelob. He wanted to watch! Unacceptable artists license. No good. Boo, even.
-(a much lesser offense) The dead army never fights at Pelenor Fields. They fight the pirates that were on the ships coming to help the Orcs. This is so that Aragorn and his ranger friends from the North (you can imagine how kickass their fighting would have been. Cut from the movie, why? Conspiracy, I suppose) can jump off the boats in a surprise attack. In the movie they made it look like the dead army just cleaned the place out. Well, hells bells! Why didn't they just all wait inside Gondor's walls for the dead army to come, save thousands of brave men's lives, and still have won the battle? The movie's interpretation just doesn't add up here.
Ok, so I have bored everyone enough. Those are just my gripes**. But apparently it doesn't matter (and I'm just being picky - I adored the movies three, and of course they did a magnificent job, but sometimes nothing compares to your own imagination) because the third movie did AMAZING at the box office. In my personal experience, I went the Thursday after it opened to a matinee (3:30pm) and had to wait in line for an hour and a half. The second time I went was the second Sunday after it opened, at which point I waited in line again for an hour at a 10:45 showing.
And no, I will not say that Lord of the Rings is King of the box office. That's just stupid of you to suggest. And because I love it so much, I think I'll go and see it again tonight.
*Gripes is a really great word
**Isn't it?
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